Love God, Love People

We're living in a world that keeps breaking

But if we want to find a way to change it

It all comes down to this

Love God, love people ~ Danny Gokey, "Love God, Love People"

    These past few months have been crazy. A pandemic has been working its way through almost every country in the world. Churches and schools have closed, and many are not opening again anytime soon.  "Essential services" has been defined in such a way that abortion is allowed while important surgeries and therapies are put on hold. Many people are without work with no end in sight. Mask mandates have led to violent confrontations between employees and customers. Tragic deaths of blacks at the hands of police have led to protests and riots. Governments throughout the country come up with mandates to help curb the spread of the virus for people's physical health without giving a second thought to their mental and spiritual health.

    All these things can make our situation seem pretty hopeless, but we can fight our way out of this mire that we find ourselves in. Many of the interpersonal problems happening right now can be solved by following Jesus' command in Matthew 22:39, "Love your neighbor as yourself." This is a command that can be hard to follow at times because we might not even know where to start. Fortunately for us, St. Paul gives us a roadmap in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Here are the ways we as a nation have fallen short in these areas, and what we can do to fix it.

    Love is patient: I don't know about you, but this one has been quite a struggle for me. I am not very happy about not being able to attend my church when so many others have already opened up. I absolutely hated the stay-at-home order and the gym being closed. It bothers me that as Mom and I try to reestablish some normalcy by resuming our monthly circle meetings, most of the other people who regularly came before are dragging their feet on returning. I could definitely say I am one of those people who would pray, "Lord, give me patience, and give it to me RIGHT NOW!"

    I know I am capable of being patient because I have had coworkers compliment me on it, but this does not seem to be a situation that brings out that patience in me. However, I am working on it. Attending another church is helping quite a bit with my impatience with mine not opening yet, and is also helping me to be more patient with others. In fact, a sermon at that church is part of what gave me the idea for this post. Yes, I still struggle with waiting for life to go back to normal, but I know it will, and God will give me the strength to endure until it does.

    Love is kind: This seems to be the attribute of love that we all seem to be struggling with right now. As I wrote the previous section, I realized that I was being quite unkind to one of the members of our circle group who isn't coming to our meetings but has done other things that I consider less safe. I deleted what I wrote because I realized that I was making an assumption about her and then criticizing her as a result, and then I prayed for help in forgiving her.

    I think many of the unmasked showdowns come down to a lack of kindness toward others. I saw a story the other day about a woman suing over a mask order because other people's health is none of her responsibility. I have also watched a few videos of mask enforcement gone wrong, and in some of those, the store employees accelerated the situation by not reacting in a compassionate way. While I understand that the people they were dealing with were being unreasonable, their actions only served to make the situation worse. I noticed recently that some retailers are no longer enforcing mask requirements, and while some people are upset about this, I actually applaud them for doing so because it is a kindness to their employees and their other customers. 

    We also need to be kind toward the people who aren't wearing masks. The first step is no longer calling them "Karen", which is an insult to all the wonderful women named Karen, including my mom. (It actually came from just one rude person named Karen, and the meme has nothing to do with what she actually did.) The next step is trying to understand why they're so bothered by needing to wear a mask. Some people actually have a medical condition that prevents them from wearing a mask. Others are probably just feeling impatient to get back to normal and hate that once they can go places again, they're told that they have to cover their face to do so. Isolation can do strange things to people, and reacting in anger to little things is a symptom of that. Reacting in a compassionate manner can do a lot to help diffuse the situation.

    Love is not envious: It might not seem that this would be a problem considering that the whole world is dealing with the same thing, but I have noticed a bit of it creeping up in me recently. Early on, I saw something about how the quarantine would probably lead to a baby boom by early next year, and I was a bit sad because as a single woman, that wouldn't be happening for me. Then a couple of weeks ago, I found out that a couple of friends of mine are expecting twins early next year, and admittedly, I felt a bit jealous.

    I also have a coworker that used this time to start a small business selling handmade leather jewelry, and so far, it is thriving. Meanwhile, my Etsy shop has only had 35 sales in the three years I have had it, and most of those were at in-person events rather than online. I felt jealous of her success at first, and then I decided my time was better spent working on my business rather than being envious of hers.

    In both of these situations, I could feel incredibly envious of the good things that have come into their lives during this time, but that wouldn't be a loving response. In one of her books, Lysa Terkeurst says that when she's feeling jealous of someone, she reminds herself, "I wasn't equipped for her good or her bad." Good things in other people's lives don't diminish our own lives, and there may be some bad things going on that we don't see. The good in my friends' lives is different than the good in my life, but that doesn't mean that I don't have good in my life. Envy just serves to plant divisions where they don't need to be.

    Love is not boastful: This isn't something I've noticed too much in relation to the pandemic, but I have seen quite a bit in relation to the recent primary and upcoming general elections. Of the four major Republican candidates for my state's new senator, three of them spent most of their time throwing mud at each other. Instead of telling the voters the good that they will do once they are elected, they just told us why they're better than someone else. I voted for the fourth candidate because his ads told us what he would do if elected, and not why we shouldn't elect someone else. (Unfortunately, one of the mud-slingers won.)

    When we are boastful, we are telling others that they are less than us, which is not a good way to love them. We can talk about ourselves in such a way that we share our lives with others while still allowing them to share the spotlight.

    Love is not proud: On the surface, it would seem that this is no different than the previous attribute, so it seems a bit redundant to mention it again. I think the reason that St. Paul made this distinction is because we can be proud without being boastful. Pride is an attitude that we are better than others, and boasting is saying it out loud. We can be prideful without boasting by judging others because we see them doing something that we would never do. However, we can react to these wrong decisions in a loving way as well by praying for them and calling them out privately if we feel it's necessary.

    Love honors others: The place where I saw the most violation of this was the protests that happened following the death of George Floyd. While many of the protests remained civil, including the majority in my home town, there were some that went sour because one or both sides were not acting honorably. In some places, the police were attacking peaceful protestors rather than honoring their right to protest. These events prompted some to call for defunding the police, thereby dishonoring an entire profession based on the actions of a few. Some cities have caved to these demands, and anarchy has begun to reign in those cities, which dishonors honest citizens by making them less safe.

    As this example shows, it's easy to see how not honoring others can cause a chain reaction. Fortunately, the same can happen when we honor others. When we feel honored, we are more likely to honor someone else. That's why St. Paul made a point to include this quality. When we show love in this way, the love just keeps on spreading out to others.

    Love is not self-seeking: I see this quality as being linked to being proud and being boastful, but it goes a bit farther. Where I've mainly seen this particular problem appear is in Facebook comments that are wholly unnecessary. Many people seem to see the need to prove their point even at the cost of alienating others. My mom shared something on Facebook about how the rioters and looters shouldn't be blamed for their actions, yet all white people are blamed for things that happened 200 years ago. Someone commented on it saying that we are responsible for the systems that perpetuate racism, which not only ignored the first part of the post itself but was also rude and untrue. The very fact that people make such accusations instead of ignoring posts that upset them proves that they were more concerned with being right than being loving, which is a very self-seeking behavior.

    It can be very easy to fall into this sort of trap without even realizing we are doing it. This person probably didn't mean to insult my mom (at least I hope so), but the way they expressed their opinion had that effect. The best way to avoid this is to take a second to THINK about what we are about to say or post before we do it. This will help ensure that what we are saying or posting is true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.

    Love is not easily angered: This is definitely something that I need to work on. In the aforementioned example, I wanted to find the person's address so I could go over there and kick their butt for talking to my mom like that. (Either that or tell their mother, who I also know.) However, I advised Mom to delete the comment and did not seek any sort of revenge even though I really wanted to. I realized that it wouldn't do any good to react to their unloving behavior by being unloving myself.

    Now, I am far from perfect. In fact, for every time I restrain myself from becoming easily angered, there are probably three or four other times where I haven't. I have engaged in all-out comment wars with people I disagree with, whether I know them personally or not. When I get upset about something, I will often stay grumpy for a while, and lash out at people who have nothing to do with what is upsetting me. I'm a work in progress, but I am working on it, and with God's help, I can improve. 

    Love keeps no record of wrongs: This is really tied into the previous one in that keeping a record of wrongs can lead to becoming easily angered. When someone behaves in a way that has hurt you before, it's much easier to react too quickly to what they are doing. This is why St. Paul warns us in Ephesians 4:26, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." At least for me, if I'm mad when I go to bed, I will be just as mad when I wake up in the morning. Forgiveness is not my default setting, and sometimes I say I've forgiven someone, but I still harbor resentment toward them and am quicker to accuse them when they make mistakes in the future. I know that God wants me to fully forgive others, but that's easier said than done. Fortunately, God promises that I won't have to do it alone, and that's a great thing for all of us record keepers!

    Love doesn't delight in evil: The main place I saw violations of this standard were all the riots the past few months, and people who supported the rioters. I read an eyewitness account of one of the riots stating that the rioters they observed weren't attacking businesses angrily as if they were actually protesting something. Instead, they were gleefully smashing windows, ecstatic to use the chaos created by the protests to benefit themselves. I saw many people on Facebook defending the actions of the rioters, saying that they were only rioting because peaceful protests weren't working. However, if I went around smashing up abortion clinics because I'm tired of them still being open and murdering innocent babies, I'm sure those same people would not be defending my actions. So they accept evil only when it serves their purposes.

    I'm not saying I'm immune to falling prey to this myself. There are times when I get mad at someone and continue to plot against them long after my conscience tells me to stop. It's easy to get tired of following the rules and getting nowhere, and sometimes evil seems to be the only option. However, God says that evil is never an option. He wants more for His children than constantly battling each other. He instead wants us to seek Him and let Him fight our battles.

    Love rejoices in the truth: No matter what's happening around us, the truth is that Christ is still on the throne and still loves us more than we can ever imagine. When we share that truth with those around us and show them love we are fulfilling the command He gave us. The world needs to know that "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39) Let's shout that truth so that the whole world can know the unfathomable love of our Savior.

    Love always protects: When we love someone, we want to protect them and are at times even willing to give up our life for them. However, there are some people who are unwilling to wear a mask to protect others, even though it's quite simple to do so. There is some debate about how effective masks are, but even if they don't do a single thing, wearing them protects others by helping them feel more secure, and it's worth it to me to wear one for that very reason.

    Another way we can protect others during this time is by reaching out to them to protect them from loneliness. That can be as simple as calling them or sending them a note to let them know that we're thinking about them. We are made to be in community, and isolation can be incredibly difficult for some people. We should let others know how much we care about them in whatever way we can during this incredibly difficult time.

    Love always trusts: We live this out by choosing to see the good in people. I know this can be hard at times. I too struggle to see the good in others, especially when I perceive their words or actions as harmful. When I feel offended by something someone does or says, I really have to lean into God to help me to see the situation clearly. I don't always feel like I can trust other people, but I know I can trust God, and He helps me trust others, even when I really don't want to.

    Love always hopes: Where I really see this coming into play right now is maintaining hope that things will eventually get back to normal or at least some semblance of it. This is not only a good way to love God and trust His plan, but it also is a way of loving others. When we remain positive and hopeful in the midst of difficult situations, it can help others to have hope as well. 

    Love always perseveres: Sometimes people are hard to love, which is the main reason why Jesus' command to us is so radical. He calls us to love people who would never love us back, and also people who have hurt us deeply. This is not in any way easy, but we do not have to do it alone. God's love always pursues us, and with His help, we can persevere in loving others as well.

    Love never fails: This is something I think that many churches are failing at. Even as things are opening up, there are still churches that are remaining closed, including my own. That wouldn't be a huge problem if the leaders were continuing to connect with members, but not all of them are. When a church is no longer acting as a community, they are no longer doing their best to help their members fulfill their calling as Christians. This is leading to a lot of the failures to love others that I have mentioned earlier in this post. When we are not getting fed love from our church community, it's harder to give love to others. 

    I am thankful that I have found a church to attend in person until mine opens up again, and that even though they know that my presence is temporary, they have gladly accepted me into their community for as long as it lasts. Worshiping with other believers has fueled me again and allowed me to better love others the way that God has called me to. When my church opens up again, I plan to return, but I am glad that until that happens, I have a place where I can receive love so I can more easily love others the way I have been called to do.