"My God has set me free
Opened my eyes, now I can see
The devil is a liar
And he's not fooling me" ~ "The Devil is a Liar" - We Are Messengers
As anyone familiar with my blog probably already knows, my life has not been an easy one. I've dealt with the deaths of people I loved dearly, seen my dream lying shattered at my feet, and at one point saw no purpose left in my life but to end it.
The past week has been no exception. I had to deal with a costly repair to my car and students who refused to listen or work. To say that my depression hit me hard on Tuesday would be an understatement. Not only that, but I also developed a headache by the end of the day that lasted well into Wednesday even though I went to bed early that night to try and dispell it. However, I don't tell you these things to try and get you to pity me. Instead, I tell you because these events do not define me, and similar events in your own life don't define you.
One of the main things that drove my depression was feeling regret about past purchases. The cost of the car repairs would not have been quite so problematic if I was not as close to my credit limit as I currently am. Not all of the money spent was on things I shouldn't have bought. In fact, the higher-priced purchases were other necessary car repairs. I have also poured money into my crafting business that has not paid off, such as paying for craft fairs and not selling nearly enough to cover my booth fee.
However, the majority of my spending was things I bought for myself, and while some things were things I needed, most were clothes I bought for myself simply because I wanted to. I would tell myself not to buy anything because I couldn't afford to, and then I'd end up buying something anyway. I didn't want to spend the money on something at full price, but the price would drop incrementally, and suddenly I was okay with it. Even during the summers when I wasn't working I would spend money as though I was.
While I have spent time beating myself up about these poor decisions leading to my current financial difficulties, I refuse to do so anymore. Living in a pit of my regret and shame is just where Satan wants me, and I don't want him to have the satisfaction of trapping me there. Christ died to set me free, and because of His sacrifice, I no longer have to submit myself to be bound by Satan's chains. So when I hear the hiss of his voice in my ear reminding me of all I've done wrong, I need to remember to pray and let the truth of Christ drown out the lies. The devil is a liar, and with God's help, he will never fool me again.
Opened my eyes, now I can see
The devil is a liar
And he's not fooling me" ~ "The Devil is a Liar" - We Are Messengers
As anyone familiar with my blog probably already knows, my life has not been an easy one. I've dealt with the deaths of people I loved dearly, seen my dream lying shattered at my feet, and at one point saw no purpose left in my life but to end it.
The past week has been no exception. I had to deal with a costly repair to my car and students who refused to listen or work. To say that my depression hit me hard on Tuesday would be an understatement. Not only that, but I also developed a headache by the end of the day that lasted well into Wednesday even though I went to bed early that night to try and dispell it. However, I don't tell you these things to try and get you to pity me. Instead, I tell you because these events do not define me, and similar events in your own life don't define you.
One of the main things that drove my depression was feeling regret about past purchases. The cost of the car repairs would not have been quite so problematic if I was not as close to my credit limit as I currently am. Not all of the money spent was on things I shouldn't have bought. In fact, the higher-priced purchases were other necessary car repairs. I have also poured money into my crafting business that has not paid off, such as paying for craft fairs and not selling nearly enough to cover my booth fee.
However, the majority of my spending was things I bought for myself, and while some things were things I needed, most were clothes I bought for myself simply because I wanted to. I would tell myself not to buy anything because I couldn't afford to, and then I'd end up buying something anyway. I didn't want to spend the money on something at full price, but the price would drop incrementally, and suddenly I was okay with it. Even during the summers when I wasn't working I would spend money as though I was.
While I have spent time beating myself up about these poor decisions leading to my current financial difficulties, I refuse to do so anymore. Living in a pit of my regret and shame is just where Satan wants me, and I don't want him to have the satisfaction of trapping me there. Christ died to set me free, and because of His sacrifice, I no longer have to submit myself to be bound by Satan's chains. So when I hear the hiss of his voice in my ear reminding me of all I've done wrong, I need to remember to pray and let the truth of Christ drown out the lies. The devil is a liar, and with God's help, he will never fool me again.
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