"But you, dear children, are from God and have overcome them because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world"~1 John 4:4
Those of you who read my post "Life>Death" will remember that I talked about a young woman who called herself a suicide survivor because her father took his own life, and then used her status as an endorsement to talk about how suicide was not a selfish act. In my post, I stated that since she did not actually survive suicide, she was not a suicide survivor. However, I found out recently that family and friends of suicide victims being called "suicide survivors" is a thing. As in a psychologist-defined, support group namesake thing. As someone who has actually survived the temptation to commit suicide, this fact is quite frustrating.
One reason is because of people like the young lady mentioned in my other post thinking they are experts in suicide because they are "suicide survivors." I don't understand how they could possibly believe this. We don't become experts at something because we know someone who did it. That would be an absurd notion if said about a family member performing surgery or re-wiring a house, and it is just as absurd a notion in this situation.
Another reason is the resultant clunkiness of the terminology for real survivors. People who survived a suicide attempt are "suicide attempt survivors," but what about those of us who were tempted but never did anything about it? There isn't a nice, neat term for us. I guess that makes me a "girl-who-was-lied-to-by-Satan-himself-in-an-attempt-to-convince-her-that-her-life-was-no-longer-worth-living-but-was-saved-by-the-grace-of-God-and-the-power-of-the-Holy-Spirit." That terminology's not working for me because it is just too many words. Saying that I am a suicide survivor conveys all of that in a much more succinct way. I believe that I have earned the right to use that term to refer to myself, but because of the prevailing use of the term, I am likely to be misunderstood when I do so.
Which brings me to my next objection. With any other cause of death, sticking the word "survivor" after it yields a phrase that means someone who faced that particular scenario head-on and survived it. Cancer survivors are people who had cancer at one time, but no longer have it. Heart attack survivors are people who had a heart attack that didn't prove fatal. So it's incredibly disconcerting for us real suicide survivors to find that after facing Satan head on and wielding the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith to beat back his lies about our worth, the term that should proclaim us as war heroes is instead something that would be used for our friends and family had we accepted defeat. This should not be so!
This misuse of terminology can also literally prove deadly. About 40 percent of people who die of suicide have made a previous attempt. This number is way too high, and a contributing factor could easily be the fact that they are not referred to as survivors! If they are not called suicide survivors, some people will buy into Satan's lie that they weren't meant to live, and will try another method of ending their lives.
Another reason could be that since people who actually survived the temptation to commit suicide aren't referred to as suicide survivors, their needs as suicide survivors aren't being met. As a survivor myself, I dealt with numerous emotions as a result. I felt guilty for not seeking help, questioned why I survived when so many others do not, felt shame that I had come so close to believing the lies, and wondered if I would ever find a husband who would forgive me for almost deleting part of God's plan for his life. It was years before I could admit the truth to anyone, and I ended up telling people I hadn't known during that time before I told people I had. Even now, there are people who were close to me during that time of my life who have no idea what I was going through. It was only through a great deal of prayer and long conversations with trusted friends and family to get me to a point where I no longer suffer from that emotional turmoil. Many people who are also suicide survivors may not have a good support system and a faith that sustains them. That's why it's important that we change the terminology to empower them and let them know that they are not alone.
So if you know someone who has been fed lies that their life wasn't worth living anymore and has fought against and overcome those lies, call them what they are: a survivor. They've earned that title considering that their fight was against an enemy that was both unseen and malicious. We may not change the prevailing use of the term "suicide survivors," but we may just save someone's life, and that, my brothers and sisters, is worth a lot.
Those of you who read my post "Life>Death" will remember that I talked about a young woman who called herself a suicide survivor because her father took his own life, and then used her status as an endorsement to talk about how suicide was not a selfish act. In my post, I stated that since she did not actually survive suicide, she was not a suicide survivor. However, I found out recently that family and friends of suicide victims being called "suicide survivors" is a thing. As in a psychologist-defined, support group namesake thing. As someone who has actually survived the temptation to commit suicide, this fact is quite frustrating.
One reason is because of people like the young lady mentioned in my other post thinking they are experts in suicide because they are "suicide survivors." I don't understand how they could possibly believe this. We don't become experts at something because we know someone who did it. That would be an absurd notion if said about a family member performing surgery or re-wiring a house, and it is just as absurd a notion in this situation.
Another reason is the resultant clunkiness of the terminology for real survivors. People who survived a suicide attempt are "suicide attempt survivors," but what about those of us who were tempted but never did anything about it? There isn't a nice, neat term for us. I guess that makes me a "girl-who-was-lied-to-by-Satan-himself-in-an-attempt-to-convince-her-that-her-life-was-no-longer-worth-living-but-was-saved-by-the-grace-of-God-and-the-power-of-the-Holy-Spirit." That terminology's not working for me because it is just too many words. Saying that I am a suicide survivor conveys all of that in a much more succinct way. I believe that I have earned the right to use that term to refer to myself, but because of the prevailing use of the term, I am likely to be misunderstood when I do so.
Which brings me to my next objection. With any other cause of death, sticking the word "survivor" after it yields a phrase that means someone who faced that particular scenario head-on and survived it. Cancer survivors are people who had cancer at one time, but no longer have it. Heart attack survivors are people who had a heart attack that didn't prove fatal. So it's incredibly disconcerting for us real suicide survivors to find that after facing Satan head on and wielding the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith to beat back his lies about our worth, the term that should proclaim us as war heroes is instead something that would be used for our friends and family had we accepted defeat. This should not be so!
This misuse of terminology can also literally prove deadly. About 40 percent of people who die of suicide have made a previous attempt. This number is way too high, and a contributing factor could easily be the fact that they are not referred to as survivors! If they are not called suicide survivors, some people will buy into Satan's lie that they weren't meant to live, and will try another method of ending their lives.
Another reason could be that since people who actually survived the temptation to commit suicide aren't referred to as suicide survivors, their needs as suicide survivors aren't being met. As a survivor myself, I dealt with numerous emotions as a result. I felt guilty for not seeking help, questioned why I survived when so many others do not, felt shame that I had come so close to believing the lies, and wondered if I would ever find a husband who would forgive me for almost deleting part of God's plan for his life. It was years before I could admit the truth to anyone, and I ended up telling people I hadn't known during that time before I told people I had. Even now, there are people who were close to me during that time of my life who have no idea what I was going through. It was only through a great deal of prayer and long conversations with trusted friends and family to get me to a point where I no longer suffer from that emotional turmoil. Many people who are also suicide survivors may not have a good support system and a faith that sustains them. That's why it's important that we change the terminology to empower them and let them know that they are not alone.
So if you know someone who has been fed lies that their life wasn't worth living anymore and has fought against and overcome those lies, call them what they are: a survivor. They've earned that title considering that their fight was against an enemy that was both unseen and malicious. We may not change the prevailing use of the term "suicide survivors," but we may just save someone's life, and that, my brothers and sisters, is worth a lot.
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