A few months ago, a young lady I know got into trouble. Big trouble. Now the young lady in question is not a bad person. She just doesn't always think before acting. After she got in trouble, I prayed for her. I prayed that she would gain control of her impulsiveness and that she would know that she isn't a bad person just because she did something she shouldn't have. Most of all I prayed that the person affected by her actions would find it in her heart to forgive her.
In his song "Forgiveness," Matthew West describes it as "the hardest thing to give away and the last thing on your mind today." I completely agree with his assessment. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus calls us to "Love [our] enemies and pray for those who persecute [us]," but this is more easily said than done. Sometimes we feel like our "pain's owed apologies and then it will stop" (Tenth Avenue North, "Losing"). If they can't take the time to apologize and ask for forgiveness, they must not really want it, right? However, we should forgive them anyway.
I find that often it's easier to forgive people who I know and love. It's hard to stay mad at someone you see every day. On the other hand, if you don't have to see them ever again, there's no need to forgive them, right? They'll never know that you didn't forgive them, so why worry about it? However, this argument assumes that you forgive someone so that they feel better.
I have heard unforgivingness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die: it does nothing to harm the other person and everything it can to harm you. The longer you go without forgiving them, the more it festers inside you. At times it may grow so huge that you begin to see the person you're refusing to forgive as no longer a fellow human being who made a mistake, but as an evil monster intent on destroying your happiness. Your memory of nice things they did for you or said to you disappears like it never even happened, and you feel justified in you hatred. This also happens if they didn't actually do anything nice for you. Additionally, you gradually become a meaner person, even though you may not realize it. You're going to stand up for yourself no matter what so that no one would even dare to do that to you again.
Then the time comes when you realize that it's getting ridiculous. You start to feel convicted about your lack of forgiveness. So you pray about it, and little by little, you feel the hatred slipping away. Your memories of times they were nice to you come back. Depending on how long you've held the grudge, you may even feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders. You realize that Barlowgirl was right in their claim that "setting you free will bring my freedom too" ("Sweet Revenge"). You may even begin to wonder why you didn't do it earlier. You get to the point where you forget why you didn't want to forgive the person in the first place. Sure they did something that hurt you, but that doesn't make them a terrible person. You are finally free.
Is there someone in your life right now that you are having trouble forgiving? Bring it to God. He knows what it's like to forgive those who seem unforgivable. His Son was crucified by an angry mob, but as He hung on that cross, He used one of His final breaths to ask God to forgive them. He can help you forgive those in your life who are hard to forgive as well.
Songs mentioned in this post:
In his song "Forgiveness," Matthew West describes it as "the hardest thing to give away and the last thing on your mind today." I completely agree with his assessment. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus calls us to "Love [our] enemies and pray for those who persecute [us]," but this is more easily said than done. Sometimes we feel like our "pain's owed apologies and then it will stop" (Tenth Avenue North, "Losing"). If they can't take the time to apologize and ask for forgiveness, they must not really want it, right? However, we should forgive them anyway.
I find that often it's easier to forgive people who I know and love. It's hard to stay mad at someone you see every day. On the other hand, if you don't have to see them ever again, there's no need to forgive them, right? They'll never know that you didn't forgive them, so why worry about it? However, this argument assumes that you forgive someone so that they feel better.
I have heard unforgivingness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die: it does nothing to harm the other person and everything it can to harm you. The longer you go without forgiving them, the more it festers inside you. At times it may grow so huge that you begin to see the person you're refusing to forgive as no longer a fellow human being who made a mistake, but as an evil monster intent on destroying your happiness. Your memory of nice things they did for you or said to you disappears like it never even happened, and you feel justified in you hatred. This also happens if they didn't actually do anything nice for you. Additionally, you gradually become a meaner person, even though you may not realize it. You're going to stand up for yourself no matter what so that no one would even dare to do that to you again.
Then the time comes when you realize that it's getting ridiculous. You start to feel convicted about your lack of forgiveness. So you pray about it, and little by little, you feel the hatred slipping away. Your memories of times they were nice to you come back. Depending on how long you've held the grudge, you may even feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders. You realize that Barlowgirl was right in their claim that "setting you free will bring my freedom too" ("Sweet Revenge"). You may even begin to wonder why you didn't do it earlier. You get to the point where you forget why you didn't want to forgive the person in the first place. Sure they did something that hurt you, but that doesn't make them a terrible person. You are finally free.
Is there someone in your life right now that you are having trouble forgiving? Bring it to God. He knows what it's like to forgive those who seem unforgivable. His Son was crucified by an angry mob, but as He hung on that cross, He used one of His final breaths to ask God to forgive them. He can help you forgive those in your life who are hard to forgive as well.
Songs mentioned in this post:
"Forgiveness"-Matthew West
"Losing"-Tenth Avenue North
"Sweet Revenge"-Barlowgirl
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