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Where's Your Heart?

Last fall, I did a study on the book The Anatomy of Peace. The book tells the story of parents whose kids were at a youth rehabilitation camp, and who were in a two day meeting to try and help their children when they returned home in two months. The leader of the camp taught the parents how to have a heart of peace toward their children rather than a heart of war. In our meetings during the study, we talked about practical ways that we could cultivate a heart of peace in our own relationships.

After learning about the difference between a heart of war and a heart of peace, I began to notice in interactions with others where their hearts were in that moment. Coworkers that had trouble getting kids to listen to them were the ones whose hearts were at war with them, and I found that sometimes I also interacted with kids with the same heart and got the same results. Relationships that I had struggled to improve were hampered by the wrong motivations, and they have improved now that my heart is more at peace.

I thought I was doing well with having more of a heart of peace. Sure, I occasionally slipped into my war-like ways, but I wasn't staying there. That was until Christmastime when the subject of my cousin's ex Lucas* came up. He often makes it difficult for her family to see their son Sam* on holidays, and as such, it had been two years since I had seen Sam. We got to talking about how frustrating this situation is for all of us, but my thoughts and words went beyond just expressing my frustrations to plotting ways to prevent such a situation in the future. Mom asked if what I was saying was just blowing off steam, and I assured her it was, but the more I plotted, the more I secretly wanted to carry it out. Once Christmas was over, and I actually got to see Sam, I realized that despite all my progress in the area of having a heart of peace, my heart was still very much at war with Lucas. Yes, his behavior is frustrating to my family, but he is still Sam's father, and so I should still want the best for him, if only for Sam's sake. I can't change his behavior (even though I wish I could), but I certainly can change my reaction. So I have resolved to keep my heart at peace in this situation. I know it won't be easy, but it will be better for me, and will help me better live up to the woman that I was created to be.

*names have been changed
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